So today is my last day with internet. *horrified gasps through the crowd*. I know - what can anyone do without the internet? To be honest, I prefer to be unreachable. I like the idea of being able to disappear. To enjoy the moment for what it is, without my cell phone going off, or someone's twitter tweeting. Sometimes it's better to disconnect.
I was wondering today what life was like without the internet. I lived through it, but somehow I can't seem to remember it. What did people do? How did they reach each other easily? I mean, who picks up a phone nowadays anyway? I'll just Facebook stalk them. No human contact needed.
And in some ways its a better world - so much information being passed around from person to person, country to country, and organization to the masses. Don't get me wrong - I like the world with the internet and all the abilities and resources it gives me. Hell, I'm writing this blog aren't I? But at the same time, I'm looking forward to my backpacking trip. I'm looking forward to forgetting this massive brain that continues to grow synapses day after day. Frankly, my own brain needs a rest from the expansion.
My significant other arrives on Saturday morning, and after a couple of days of saying goodbye to wonderful friends in Newcastle, we are off on the adventure of our lives. He likes to say its the beginning of many adventures to come - I like to agree. And me agreeing is a terribly rare moment for Yan.
Life is full of adventures, you just have to be willing to embrace them. I have always chased my dreams - my Mother knew it when I was younger, and the world is finding it out now. I am fiercely independent in many ways, and dreaming is the one thing no one else may own. I chase my dreams. I am determined to live them. Does this make me naive? Passionate, maybe, but naive, certainly not. I believe that those who would call my life goals naive are the ones who have difficulties dreaming. Ones who are afraid to think back on childhood reveries. Its sad that the spark seems to die in so many. I've been close to losing it too. But I refuse to let it die. I will dream, and I will experience, and the spark will evolve with me. I will see the world, and I will try as many things as possible. Life is about opportunity. No. Life is about making your own opportunity.
So here we come world! One month of internet free disconnection, and I'm ready to embrace it! I'm ready to set my inner child free. I'm ready to live my dream and experience my adventure...
In short: bring it on.
Wednesday, 28 July 2010
Saturday, 24 July 2010
A Father's Day Promise
I sent this to my father for Father's Day, and I figure that publishing it will help me live up to the promise I made. I love you Dad!
It’s hard to look back and try and say everything that inspired me, everything that made me who I am based on who you are, everything that influenced where I am today and my passion for what I do. I could sum it up in one word, but that’s too cliché. Like a horrible Hallmark card. And the last thing I want is for you to open this up and see one paragraph with the conclusion: Dad.
And although this conclusion rings truth, it also doesn’t express the symptoms that led to that diagnosis. See: trait one – you taught me to be analytical. But with a fear of having this sound like your retirement speech, the last thing I want is for you to open this up and see a reiteration of everything I’ve said before.
So what can I do? I don’t seem to be left with much. Poetry? Nah... that’s meant for mothers! A card? That’s not enough. After all, this holiday is meant to celebrate our relationship. The father’s relationship to his child. No card can do that. Not even Hallmark.
But how can you sum up a relationship? Millions of employees sitting at that card factory try year after year to come up with a catch phrase, with something sentimental, with something that suits different relationships. And that’s how you can tell a child’s relationship to their father – the card they choose to buy them. And most of us kids being at a loss for words, like me now, find it easier to have someone else say exactly what they want to say.
And maybe that was said already. By the Japanese representative in Rome, “Thank you for letting me see you and your Dad together. I wish I could have a relationship with my daughter like you do with your father”.
But I can’t have someone else say it this year. I’m so far away, and a card isn’t enough. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. Most father’s wouldn’t provide, or even couldn’t provide, this opportunity for their children. But when I asked you about it, there was no hesitation. I gave you my reasons, I spelt out the importance of the program to me, and you agreed, with undying support. And even now I know I can count on you. I can call you up at anytime and you will listen to every word. Even if you are busy. Not many girls can say that about their Dads.
I can only hope to be as good of a mother as you are a father. You have taught me so much about life, about people, and about handling difficult situations. You have taught me the importance of loving the person in your life and supporting them through good and bad times. You have taught me to embrace the flaws of others, forgive others, and see that sometimes everyone just needs an enemy. Even if that enemy is me.
You are my Dad. You are everything to me and this world is a better place with you in it. My childhood was perfect. My adolescence was perfect. My early adult years are perfect. And although there is always pain and there are always let downs, you’ve taught me to take them stoically and to learn how to face the challenge better the next time. After all, I am a Scott.
I know this isn’t much. I could have written pages about your positive influence in my life – but then what would be left for the years to come? So here is my promise: every father’s day I will write you something. Not a poem. Not a Hallmark card. It will be a written work. I don’t know the forms it will take, but it will depend on where I am in my life and what that means to us. All I know is that this year, being so far away, I have come to feel a stronger bond to my family, and thus to you. I miss you so much and I love you so much. No girl has ever been luckier than I am as your daughter. You mean the world to me, as I know we all do to you. And not many kids can say that with certainty. You have been the perfect father for us and I couldn’t imagine anything else. I wouldn’t change anything. Life is wonderful, despite your adage that it sucks. I guess that’s where I take after Mom.
I love you Dad!
Babydoll
For Dad
It’s hard to look back and try and say everything that inspired me, everything that made me who I am based on who you are, everything that influenced where I am today and my passion for what I do. I could sum it up in one word, but that’s too cliché. Like a horrible Hallmark card. And the last thing I want is for you to open this up and see one paragraph with the conclusion: Dad.
And although this conclusion rings truth, it also doesn’t express the symptoms that led to that diagnosis. See: trait one – you taught me to be analytical. But with a fear of having this sound like your retirement speech, the last thing I want is for you to open this up and see a reiteration of everything I’ve said before.
So what can I do? I don’t seem to be left with much. Poetry? Nah... that’s meant for mothers! A card? That’s not enough. After all, this holiday is meant to celebrate our relationship. The father’s relationship to his child. No card can do that. Not even Hallmark.
But how can you sum up a relationship? Millions of employees sitting at that card factory try year after year to come up with a catch phrase, with something sentimental, with something that suits different relationships. And that’s how you can tell a child’s relationship to their father – the card they choose to buy them. And most of us kids being at a loss for words, like me now, find it easier to have someone else say exactly what they want to say.
And maybe that was said already. By the Japanese representative in Rome, “Thank you for letting me see you and your Dad together. I wish I could have a relationship with my daughter like you do with your father”.
But I can’t have someone else say it this year. I’m so far away, and a card isn’t enough. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. Most father’s wouldn’t provide, or even couldn’t provide, this opportunity for their children. But when I asked you about it, there was no hesitation. I gave you my reasons, I spelt out the importance of the program to me, and you agreed, with undying support. And even now I know I can count on you. I can call you up at anytime and you will listen to every word. Even if you are busy. Not many girls can say that about their Dads.
I can only hope to be as good of a mother as you are a father. You have taught me so much about life, about people, and about handling difficult situations. You have taught me the importance of loving the person in your life and supporting them through good and bad times. You have taught me to embrace the flaws of others, forgive others, and see that sometimes everyone just needs an enemy. Even if that enemy is me.
You are my Dad. You are everything to me and this world is a better place with you in it. My childhood was perfect. My adolescence was perfect. My early adult years are perfect. And although there is always pain and there are always let downs, you’ve taught me to take them stoically and to learn how to face the challenge better the next time. After all, I am a Scott.
I know this isn’t much. I could have written pages about your positive influence in my life – but then what would be left for the years to come? So here is my promise: every father’s day I will write you something. Not a poem. Not a Hallmark card. It will be a written work. I don’t know the forms it will take, but it will depend on where I am in my life and what that means to us. All I know is that this year, being so far away, I have come to feel a stronger bond to my family, and thus to you. I miss you so much and I love you so much. No girl has ever been luckier than I am as your daughter. You mean the world to me, as I know we all do to you. And not many kids can say that with certainty. You have been the perfect father for us and I couldn’t imagine anything else. I wouldn’t change anything. Life is wonderful, despite your adage that it sucks. I guess that’s where I take after Mom.
I love you Dad!
Babydoll
A moment's dream
Hello everyone!
I've been delaying and delaying creating a blog. I feel like I don't have enough to say to the world, and worry more about what the world has to say to me. For years I've been writing a personal journal...sometimes just with reminders of what I did that day, others with my views on life and philosophy, more about academia, and less and less about the drama surrounding my life. I thought I could escape it, I thought I would find my moment's dream.
As it turns out, drama seems to follow no matter where your life takes you. It either sneaks its way in, crashes unexpectedly, or slowly encroaches. What matters is how you deal with it. My philosophy is to take things day by day and hope for the best. I hate confrontation, and outright anger even more, but I support communication, and sometimes the two collide. As long as the lines stay open, there's no need to worry.
So I decided to create a blog. I don't know why I've chosen to do it now, but it certainly is an interesting time in my life. I've been living in England working on my Masters for a year. It's a time of transition and uncertainty: from complicated friendships, confusion over careers, my significant other returning to my life, moving back to Canada, and starting law school, this is sure to be an interesting time together! I want to make the most of it. I want to find my moment's dream...
I've been delaying and delaying creating a blog. I feel like I don't have enough to say to the world, and worry more about what the world has to say to me. For years I've been writing a personal journal...sometimes just with reminders of what I did that day, others with my views on life and philosophy, more about academia, and less and less about the drama surrounding my life. I thought I could escape it, I thought I would find my moment's dream.
As it turns out, drama seems to follow no matter where your life takes you. It either sneaks its way in, crashes unexpectedly, or slowly encroaches. What matters is how you deal with it. My philosophy is to take things day by day and hope for the best. I hate confrontation, and outright anger even more, but I support communication, and sometimes the two collide. As long as the lines stay open, there's no need to worry.
So I decided to create a blog. I don't know why I've chosen to do it now, but it certainly is an interesting time in my life. I've been living in England working on my Masters for a year. It's a time of transition and uncertainty: from complicated friendships, confusion over careers, my significant other returning to my life, moving back to Canada, and starting law school, this is sure to be an interesting time together! I want to make the most of it. I want to find my moment's dream...
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