Friendships

I need to get this out. I’m just so frustrated right now. I don’t understand the twists and turns of some friendships. And most of the time, I think it’s my lack of understanding that brings about these twists and turns.

I’ve never found being close to people easy. I like to keep my distance and just stay friendly. That way things stay fun, and I don’t have to be vulnerable. Many of my friends don’t know all the sides of me, they know me as a person, and they know my hopes and dreams.... but they don’t need to see grumpy Chandra. She is reserved for Yan...

I think the older we grow, the more our priorities change. We go from “best friends” into relationships that define our lives. I haven’t had a “best friend” since grade 10, and that ended when we both entered into our first relationships. Since then, things have changed.

Now my “best friend” will always be Yan. He is my mentor, my student, and my soul mate. He is the one I rely upon for any emotion that comes my way. He does the duties that a childhood friend fulfilled years ago.

When I look at most of my friends now, it’s the same way. We have a network of friends, but no “best friend”. We’ve evolved into a new sort of relationship with our friends. Most of us have less and less time to see each other, as our lives become filled with work and responsibilities to the one we love. We are busier and have a hard time getting together. So we are losing friends, as distance creates a gap. But we still keep each other close. Not as close as High School, or even undergrad, but still comfortably close. But I don’t mourn the past – I look upon the present as a new and exciting adventure. Change isn’t always for the worst, especially when others are changing along with you.

I know I can rely on all my friends. I can call them if I need help and any one of them would find the time to listen. I am truly blessed by the amazing people in my life, and that they understand where I am in mine.

Life is harder and harder as it goes on. Ironic coming from someone who is 23, but I am slowly being crushed by the responsibilities that come with leaving home. Luckily I have my fiancée to help me, and my friends to laugh with when we are so frustrated that we just need to get our rant on!

And yet, I have lost a lot of friends along the way. Megan – my cute and lovable Megan. She always knew how to make me smile, and always supported me when I needed a friend the most. It was like she had a sixth sense and would call me up when I was upset. And I lost her to misunderstanding. God I miss her.


And now another friend: Brian. We were so close, but recently things have been tense because our friendship has caused a rift with his significant other. I understand because our friendship didn’t evolve as my other friendships evolved. We remained the same and his significant other wasn’t comfortable with it. And today I made the rough decision to be the bigger person and tell him that things have to change. I’m horrified that I will lose him. And god knows I’ll miss him too.


I sit here today nostalgic, confused, and very depressed. I miss Megan and Brian, but I have to remember that I have so many other friends. And although I’m sure I’ll lose others along the way, I know that I will always have support in those who remain. I will always have Yan, my “best friend”.

I’m looking forward to the future, with my network of friends. I love them all and I cherish every minute I have free to see them. True, those moments are sparse, but it’s not about the amount of time we spend together, it’s about how we spend that time. And god knows we know how to have a good time.

Thank you, to all my friends, past and present.